A Fieldwork about Arranged Marriage in India

Come along with globalisation and modernization is human's demand for autonomy and freedom. India is seen as one of the major pinnacles of modernity in the Asia-Pacific region (Donner, H. & Santos, G., 2016:128), yet arranged marriage, a seemingly conservative tradition, still remains as a prevalent social practice in India. This is an incomprehensible but intriguing issue for an outsider. Therefore, this fieldwork aims to investigate contemporary middle-class Indian's perception of arranged marriage, attempting to reason the coexistence of modernity and arranged marriage.

An in-depth interview was conducted in English with Charu, a young Indian woman from a middle-class family. The semi-structured interview lasted for around 120 minutes. During our discussion, Charu shared both her personal experience and her observation of peers about arranged marriage. Starting with a few questions to inquire demographic information, the discussion, thereafter, extended to the scope of family and matrimonial life. While analysing the transcripts, I also reflected my observation in Chinese contexts to make a comparison. To protect participant's privacy, any detailed personal information remains confidential, and pseudonym is utilized. The presented fieldwork was proofread by the participant to further ensure accuracy and privacy.

One of the main findings complicates and contradicts the conventional thinking that middle-class parents may distain arranged marriage to support love marriage. Due to the rapid social and economic transformation in India, its social classes appear to be more fluid and layered. Within the middle class, three layers are emerging and constantly fluid, each with distinct wider social, cultural and economic environments shaping their cognition and practices of arranged marriage. Charu kindly drew the diagram to illustrate: 

The upper middle class is steadily moving upwards to upper class with the accumulation of wealth. Reassured by their prosperity, education and social status, families of this layer may not depend on the material interest or social identity enjoyed by arranged marriage. It is, however, not a straightforward cut. Some upper middle class, instead, highly rely on arranged marriage to secure their social status. Some average middle-class families are flowing to the upper middle class with business growth or career progress. Parents in this group tend not to enforce arranged marriage aggressively and respect the younger generation's autonomy. "Love-arranged marriage" (Twamley, 2013:274)might be common in this layer. Charu recalled:

"My parents were not looking for anyone for me as I was still in college, but my husband's parents were looking for a girl for him as he was successful in his career. Then common friends of both the families introduced us and wanted us to meet. My father didn't agree initially, but he said yes after four months. We met and our love chemistries worked. But we asked for more time to know each other first to then make a decision and our parents gave us the time."

Arguably, most average middle-class parents still cling to arranged marriage and impose it harder to the young. Experienced and well-educated, these parents are confident about their choice for the next generation. And to guarantee a 'happy' marriage for the young, they consider such factors as caste, education and financial condition, while searching for a future spouse. Charu said:

"Because they are so sure they know what is good for the future of their children to survive well in the society."

The lower middle-class are those who newly joined middle class from lower social class. Parents from this group start loosening their grips on arranged marriage to adjust to the social image of middle class: being less conservative and open to modernity. Charu said:

"they're learning this."

For the whole middle class in general, the tolerance towards love marriage seems to be conditional, irrespective of differences among the three layers. Caste might be compromised, but education and material wealth remain critical. Twamley (2013, 267-283) highlights a case in her study that love marriage of a couple from different castes was allowed due to the boy's family's wealth and his parents' high education. In fact, education and financial condition are valued by not just parents but young people. Twamley (2013, 267-283) mentioned that young people from south India expect emotional attachment together with education and employment from a future spouse. Such a practical phenomenon is also being witnessed in China. A unique view in certain parks of Beijing is "Xiangqin corner", a marriage market initiated by parents for their daughters and sons. Education, age, income, properties are clearly written out by parents as bargaining power and or standards to seek a good spouse. Reflecting on my observation as a Chinese youth and conversation with peers, we frankly admit that besides emotional love, we also appreciate future spouse's education and employability for shared outlook and responsibility. In both contexts, parents' rationale for arranged marriage or introduced marriage is, in essence, largely out of love and concern. The current and probably long-term socio-economic pressure in India and China force both parents and the young to think strategically about marriage. In this sense, marriage is not just romantic bonding, but a form of mutual assistance to confront the changing world (Henrike, 2016:1123-1146).

Another finding is that most arranged marriage turn out to be successful marriage. Yet it is a tough process for the two families to negotiate, requiring two well-educated, well-read, and well-born young people to adjust together during marriage. This can be unravelled from three folds. In the first place, people are mentally prepared to preserve their arranged marriage because the consequence of being an insurgent is unbearable. Although many youths resist arranged marriage, few of them have succeeded in love marriage. For those few who have succeeded, they are eventually excluded from genealogy without any family support. Some ambitious women aspire a successful career or higher education, but they only can persuade parents again and again to postpone their action to search for a spouse for them.On the contrary, for some other of their cohorts, arranged marriage is acceptable. Charu said:

"We know this will happen since we were a kid, so we accept it naturally. For me, I have seen my parents suffer from other life traumas. I can't break their hearts again."

Ultimately, under these social and cultural pressures combined: rare success of resistance, unaffordable consequence of failure, and filial duty to parents, the young generation have to persuade themselves to accept and make efforts to maintain arranged marriage.

Further, negotiation of compatibility between the two families prior to marriage also guarantees the satisfaction of arranged marriage to some extent. During the interaction of a potential couple, the two families, including joint families have to attend countless social events. If the two families' aura cannot merge, they then move on to next round of matchmaking. To compare the importance of family interest and the young's autonomy, I further asked what if the two fell in love, but their families could not get on well. Charu answered without a second thought:

"No more story. Only the two families match well can the marriage be successful."

The fundamental rationale might be that Indian people love socializing and networking. Although India is a large country, Charu said:

"Everybody just knows each other. People love to talk and visit each other."

Conceivably, if the two families frequently have conflicts, the married couple will unavoidably be involved in, causing harm to their marriage. Therefore, behind a successful arranged marriage might also be two harmonious families and a powerful kinship network to strengthen the bonds.

Finally, it is their economic condition and education that make the marriage long-lasting and happy, especially when more couples are moving to big cities for career progress. They live as nuclear families with parents only visiting from time to time (Dutta, 2016:176). Charu emphasized:

"I rarely heard any trouble from other couples I know for some reason. But education and economic condition are very important. If they are not well-off or not well-educated, problem comes. Especially for girls, if they don't read well. It won't work."

This echoes with the reason why middle-class parents and some youth value education and finance standing in both Indian and Chinese contexts. But above all, when all the other prerequisites: mental preparation, family compatibility, and wealth, are ensured, it is two souls' conversation which largely depend on education attainment.

It is notable that arranged marriage is a controversial topic even within India. It encompasses much more complicated issues such as religion, culture, politics, etc. This fieldwork only provides a perspective to understand its complexity.

References:

Donner, H. & Santos, G. 2016. Love, marriage, and intimate citizenship in contemporary China and India: An introduction. Modern Asian Studies. 50(4), Pp.1123-1146.

Dutta, S. 2016. The changing patterns and lived experiences of women pursuing higher education post-marriage in India. Journal of International Women's Studies. 17(1), pp. 169-185.

Twamley, K. 2013. The globalisation of love? Examining narratives of intimacy and marriage among middle-class Gujarati Indians in the UK and India. Families, Relationships and Societies. 2(2), pp. 267-283.